Halloween Deep Thoughts By Jael

"I just burped and it tasted like candy! (Pause for deep thought.) It's funny how when you burp it tastes like whatever you just ate. I like to burp after eating something good!"

First Snow Tradition

The Company I Keep

I play this game with my kids, especially Jael I guess, where I ask them "What makes you happy?" Then sad, silly and angry. Sometimes the answers I get tell me a lot about their day or how they see things in the world. I was playing it the other day with Anson and got the following...

Me-What makes you happy?
Anson-You do when you snuggle me.
Me-What makes you sad?
A-When Shad takes something from me.
Me-What makes you silly?
A- (I forgot what he said here. Sorry)
Me-What makes you angry?
A-You do...(deep in thought)... and Satan.

Well at least I know where I stand.

My New and Improved Favorite Song

Anyone heard the Katy Perry Song "California Girls?" It goes:

California Girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy dukes
Bikinis on top.

Not my favorite song in the world. Jael however, sings it in a new way that I like MUCH better. It goes:

California Girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy dukes
Zucchini on top.

See? Much better.

Totally Unreasonable

Anson is such a mans man. Lately one of his biggest hero's has been his Uncle Eric. Why? Eric's a really nice guy, but that has nothing to do with it. It's because he hunts...with a REAL bow and arrow. Yup. Nothing is cooler than that.

The other day behind the playhouse the kids found some old broken glass. Jael brought it in and I had her throw it away. Earlier today I noticed they were behind the playhouse again and I reminded them that they couldn't play back there with out shoes. Next thing I know in comes Anson with something in his hand. I asked him if he'd found more glass and when he confirmed I told him to throw it away. Suddenly he broke into tears. What?! I didn't think I'd asked him to run over a puppy or anything. He manages to choke out, "I'm going to use it to make a spear." I, being the mean mom that I am, told him no.

Tell me though, how do you explain to a five year old boy that he can't use a shard of glass to create a weapon because it might hurt someone/something? That's kinda the point.

Say What?

Anson has always said his "th" sounds "v." You know, brovver, movver, favver etc. Recently he's been working really hard to say the "th" sound instead. I didn't realize how hard he'd been working until the other day. We were going to the library and he says, "Mom, can we get a mothie?"
Me- "A what?" I'm thinking something like Jamba Juice.
A- "A mothie. Can I get G.I. Joe?"

He got a mothie. Just because he's cute.

Why My Windows are Dirty

Okay. That may not be the only reason, but I think it's a good one.

First Day of School

We survived our first week of school!! Having two in school this year I was worried, but I think it's going to go okay.



Jael is starting second grade. She keeps me on my toes. And no, I didn't tell her to pose. =)



Anson started kindergarten and was so excited he couldn't stand still for the picture. Or for this one.



Actually, he was so excited that this is how school really happened.



In his pajamas. He couldn't wait to start school. At 7a he came running out. "Mom! Mom! It's Monday!! I start school today! Can we do school now?!" I asked him if he wanted breakfast first and he looked at me like I was an idiot. So school started at 7a and was done by 7:30. He was one proud little dude. Here's hoping it lasts. =)

Life's Little Lesson

I learned a valuable lesson from Anson and Shad this week. It isn't wise to give little boys allen wrenches. If you do this...



Becomes this....


And this....


Becomes this...

Injury

We've been parents for seven years now, and managed to avoid all major injuries. That is until last week. On Thursday Jael was walking down the hall when, to quote her, she "tripped over (her) own feet." I heard her crying and went to check. She was laying on the floor and told me she'd heard her ankle "pop." I checked it good. No swelling. No obvious breaks. I figured she was being a bit of a drama queen (No. Not Jael. Never. =D) I being the kind, compassionate mom that I am told her to get up, get tough and go clean up her Polly's. Later that day when it was still hurting I made her sit on the couch for the rest of the day. I figured if it was still hurting the next day I'd call the doctor. Really I wasn't too worried though. It didn't look that swollen.

Flash forward to the next morning. After talking to my mom, who had one of the worst sprains I've ever seen, I decided I should take her in. So we get all dressed and head to the peds office. Theresa takes one look at it and says, "Wow that's really swollen." Oops. Then "where the swelling is, I'd guess there is a fracture. Take her to get X-rays and I'll call you when I know." So we go to the hospital and get x-rays. One of the first things the x-ray tech says is, "yeah, that's really swollen isn't it?" Bad mommy. So we get the x-rays and head home. I fix lunch as fast as I can because I know if it's broken we'll have to go in again and get a splint. At 1p Theresa calls and says "It looks like there might be an oblique fracture, but we can't tell for sure. We need x-rays from a different angle." So we pack up and head back to the hospital, all four kids in tow. Fun. I have to say in Jael's favor, she didn't whine or complain once. As a matter of fact, while I'm hauling her all over she keeps telling me "It doesn't hurt [i]that[/i] bad." She was a real trooper. Long story short, or maybe short story long, at 4p Theresa called and told us no fracture, just a good sprain.

I didn't think to take pictures of it then, but she has some good bruises now (see pictures below). She keeps telling me it doesn't hurt and is mad that I won't let her jump on the trampoline for a few weeks. I'm so mean.





(These really don't do her bruises justice, but they're the best I could get.)

Life's Little Problems

I knew there was a good story I'd been meaning to blog. I was going through the pics from my trip to Mom and Dad's in June and found this one of Jael and Rosco, the family dog.



For the sake of this story you need to know that Rod is our landlord and Buddy is his very VERY- like at least 15 years- old dog.

My little sister Cec was talking to Jael one day while we were there and they had the following conversation.

Jael- What's that scar on Rosco's stomach? (Referring to the scar left by the removal of the family jewels, if you catch my drift)
Cec- Just a scar. (Quick dodge. Can't imagine why my 14 year old sister didn't want to explain THAT.)
Jael- Oh. Buddy has one just like it. I think it's what's keeping him alive.
Cec- Oh yeah? Why is that?
Jael- Because I asked Rod what it was and he said that if Buddy didn't have it he'd have a lot of problems.

Innocence is bliss.

Wordless Wednesday

This Is Why...

I'm not accomplishing anything right now.



Those are my feet, and he's out cold.

Whose Team are You On?

Anson- Is it okay to lie to bad guys?
Me- What do you mean?
Anson- Like tell them your on their team.
Jael- Oh yeah but not really be. Then you could tell him you wanted to pretend to bite his nose.
Anson- Yeah! Then really bite it off!

Moral of the story: If my kids tell you their on your team and they want to "pretend" to bite your nose off, RUN!

I Want a Drink

Aaron thinks this video hits a little too close to home. =)

One of the Reasons I Love Homeschooling.

This is where Jael did school one day last week. So nice.

That Explains It

The whole time I was pregnant this last time I couldn't sleep past 6a EVER. Sometimes it was 5a and after the stupid time change it was 4a. It was such a pain. Now, I know why. Soren snuggles all night until about 6a then I get this...



That explains it.

Shad's Favorite Song

This is Shad's favorite song. Kid.You.Not. This is what he asks to listen to when he's upset. I really need to get a video of him singing it.

Why I Love Being Mom

Weed bouquets. 'Nuff said.

Nice Try

My kids gave me Raisinets for my birthday. After consuming them all I noticed the box.




Yup. That's exactly why I eat them. It has nothing to do with the chocolate. It's to get my antioxidants and daily servings of fruit. Yup that's it. I even get the king size so I get more of those.

Photojounalism

What, you might ask, is this?



Is it a new way to play musical chairs?

No.


It was created by them.



Is it modern art?

No.

It's a home for this.


If it's a boy it would have been named Johnie. If it's a girl it would have been named Rosie. But since no one knows how to tell the gender of a stink bug, it's name is Stinky.

This is originally where this story ended.

Then this happened.




Can you tell from the reactions which face is responsible?

This one?



This one?



Maybe this one?



Nope. Definitely not that one.

Just for Robin

Who Needs a Radio?

Shad's big thing lately is that I have to sing to him when he's upset and I have to sing him to sleep. Not a big deal, except I'm only allowed a very small repertoire. I'm allowed to sing:

Bempo (I Love to See the Temple)
Dod (I Am A Child of God)
Payer (A Child's Prayer)
Humbeam (Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam)

And it usually goes like this....
Shad: Bempo
Me: (singing) I love to see the temple, I'm-
Shad: (interrupting) Stop! (He signs STOP while saying it too.) Dod
Me: (singing)I am a child of God, and He has sent me-
Shad: (interrupting) Stop! Payer
Me: (singing)Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you-
Shad: (interrupting) Stop! Humbeam
Me: (singing)Jesus wants me for a sunbeam, to-
etc., etc., etc.

We go round and round like this for a while. I know he's finally asleep when I get past the first line of any given song.

Boys

Can someone please explain little boys to me? I mean, really? What made him think this was a good idea? Little boys are so funny!

Overheard

Anson yelling "I'm not going to play with you anymore!"
Jael, also yelling, "Yeah, well when you grow up I'm not going to come visit you!!"

Now there's a threat.

What Just Happened?

Shad, the two year old, just put himself in the corner. Kid.you.not. We have a new rule around our house. If Aaron or I ask the kids to pick something up or do something and they don't, they have to go stand in the corner while we do it, and we are SO much slower than they are. (insert evil grin) Then depending on what they refused to do in the first place they sometimes have to do/pick up something else. Well just a minute ago I told Shad and Anson to pick up the crayons. Normally Shad is my neat freak. I tell the big kids to pick something up and next thing I know Shad's done it. Not today. Today, he looked at me with this totally forlorn look and says "Corner." Then he went and stood in the corner while Anson picked them up. Well, he's been in the corner for the first time now.

The Accidental Unattended Homebirth

-----Disclaimer: While I haven't actually typed this post yet, it is going to be a birth story. That means that there will likely be some blood guts gore and TMI. So if you are the weak of stomach, skip this post. Really though, I'm going to and keep it pretty tame, but one never knows for sure.---------

I'm pretty sure most of you know this already, but I'm no longer pregnant!! Soren Joseph was born Dec 1. He weighed 9 lbs 7 oz and was 21 inches long. I think most who read this also know that I had an accidental unattended homebirth. What does that mean? We didn't make it to the Birth Suite and Aaron caught this baby. Here is the story.

Monday night at about 9p my water broke. (Here comes one of those TMI moments.) To be totally honest, I wasn't sure if my water had broken or if I was just really wetting my pants. (Come on I was nine months pregnant, and I wasn't due for another five days AND I had convinced myself I was going to go over. Long story short denial isn't just a river in Africa.) I wasn't having any contractions at all, so I decided the best thing to do was try and sleep for a while. I knew that if this was it, I was in for a long night. Aaron suggested I call Rebecca, my midwife. Instead I called Trisha. She's a friend of mine who was going to watch the kids for me. I figured Rebecca was used to phone calls in the middle of the night. Trisha, hopefully, not so much. That, and I have this complex. My family won't believe me, but I don't like people to see me in pain. A friend of mine used to call me a bird. I guess they do the same thing. I can be in intense pain, someone walks through the door and I smile and pretend it's all okay, then go back to bawling once they leave. I just don't like to bother people. BIG MISTAKE.

Anyway. At about 9p I went to bed. At 11p I woke up to use the bathroom. Still no contractions, but I decided that my water had broken for sure. Aaron was still up, so I told him to go to bed and I crawled back in bed. I couldn't go to sleep though. I was laying there thinking of all the things I had to do before we could head to the birth suite. After about 20 minutes of that, I decided to get up and get us ready. Still no contractions. So I gather up the kids socks and shoes and coats. I watched a little TV (gotta love hulu.com). About 1a I started having contractions. Nothing too major and a good 7-10 minutes apart. About 2am I discover my mom is on facebook and start chatting with her. (No, it's really not odd that my mom is up at 2 in the morning. It is kind of funny that she was on facebook though.) I chat with Mom for a while and about 2:45a the contractions start slowing down so I tell Mom I'm going to try and sleep some more.

At that point I get up and start moving and so do the contractions. Still 6-8 minutes, but getting stronger. I'm still walking and talking through them. At 3am-ish I go wake Aaron up and ask for a blessing. After that's done he get's dressed and goes out and starts the van and pulls it up to the door. We figure we'll leave it running while he loads it so it's warm for the kids. While he's loading I call Trisha and let her know we're headed that way. (You may notice at this point I STILL haven't called Rebecca. In my own defense, when I asked her how much warning she needed she told me a half hour. That's about how long it takes us to get from here to there. I figured we'd let her sleep as long as possible and call her on the way out the door. Again BIG MISTAKE)

We've got everything loaded except the kids and all of the sudden I'm having serious contractions fast and hard. Umm oops. I tell Aaron to call Rebecca... finally, yeah, I know. He calls her. About two minutes later I tell him he better call her again and tell her we're not going to make it. He calls her and, I kid you not, says "Hi this is Aaron again. How're you?" WHAT? I yell from the background. "Would you knock it off with the freakin' pleasantries?!!!" (In my own defense, I'm pretty sure I was in transition at that point. And really I'm grateful he was able to remain that calm.) Anyway. Aaron tells Rebecca we're not making it, and she tells me I have to decide, hospital or homebirth. There's the new Riverton IHC hospital about 15 minutes from her or Rebecca would high tail it out here as fast as she could. She also does homebirths, so that really isn't that weird other than needing to stop and get the stuff she'd normally have already at my house. I think at this point I tell Aaron there is no way in...ummm..Hades, I'm getting in that car. Okay then homebirth it is. I think at this point she must have given him some "just in case" directions (don't drop Baby, get towels, put baby immediately skin to skin with mom, DON'T cut the cord)

Brief pause to explain my house. It's kind of set up in two different sections, "front" and "back." To get from front to back you have to go down a long hallway. Up front there is the living room, kitchen, family room, bathroom and laundry room. In the back are the bedrooms and a bathroom w/tub. That's how the kids were sleeping through all this.

Anyway, I'd originally planned on a water labor and birth. So once I decided I wasn't getting in the car I sent Aaron to start running water in the tub in the back for me. While he's gone I realize I need to push. (That really isn't as big of a deal as it sounds like. Jael I pushed for 2 hours, Anson 1 hour, Shad 20 minute. For me it's not a one push thing) So I start pushing. Meanwhile Aaron gets back up front and I tell him he's going to have to catch this baby. He looks at me and says "Now?!" yup, now.

Gratefully Aaron is a good catch. Baby arrived at 3:54a. The cord was over his shoulder, but thankfully not around his neck. Aaron hands him to me and I check boy/girl and start laughing. We were all pretty sure this one was a girl. Anson actually corrected my mom once when she referred to baby as "he." I looked at Aaron and said "It's a boy! Did you see that?!" I think I spent the next 15-20 minutes just chuckling over the whole accidental unattended home birth and that he's a he not a she. Well, that the hormones might have been a factor.

Rebecca showed up shortly there after and shut the van off for us. She cleaned us up, and the mess we'd made. She weighed and measured. She took good care of us.

Honestly the whole experience was pretty nice. We didn't have to leave the house for another two weeks. We got to just hang out on the couch. And for the first time I got to be there when the kids found out there was a new little one. That was pretty memorable and lots of fun.

Reactions have been funny. Most people think I'm some sort of superwoman. That's really funny since it's just that I was too dumb to know when to call the midwife. I think my sister-in-law Sarah's was the best though. She wouldn't believe Aaron. I had to talk to her and point out that we'd called on the home number before she'd believe us. (Hi Sarah!)

Long story short, next time we'll just plan the homebirth and save ourselves some trouble.

Green Salad

Where did these three kids who like green salad come from? Until a few weeks ago I didn't have a single kid who would eat salad. Now all three love it. What happened?! To show you just how extreme the swing, I just talked Shad out of wanting candy with the option of salad!!! Think the same thing will ever happen with squash? I can hope right?

Mom's No Fun

Oy. It's been so long since I posted anything. We're alive. One of these days I'll post pics of Soren and maybe the story of his arrival. For now though how about a great story I've been meaning to post for a long time... long enough that there wasn't any snow and the weather was significantly warmer.

Normally I like to get us to church 15-20 minutes early. That way I can get my primary classroom set up and go to the library. Aaron and the kids go in to the chapel and get our bench and then go for a "Wiggle Walk." We usually park at the back of the building farthest from the chapel, but closest to my primary room. One Sunday we were running a bit late. I suggested to Aaron that I'd just drop them off at the front doors so they could get our seat, and I'd park and go straight to my classroom. From the back seat Anson pipes up, "If you're going to drop us off, why don't you just drop us off at the park?" I was trying so hard not to laugh I nearly choked. I got control enough to answer and explain why that wasn't an option. His response? In a total eye roll tone "Well, I was just asking."